i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
