Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
