I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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