i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
