we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
