Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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