Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
