That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize