Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
