Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
