No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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