In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
