school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
