Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Mom said you looked used
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
