Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
