Kiss
Puke
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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