i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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