everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
