Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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