Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize