it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
