I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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