JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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