so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
