I puked a lego.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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