awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
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