I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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