Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
