I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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