for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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