Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize