either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
