What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
