Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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