Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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