he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
