I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
