His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
