So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
