I feel great
I just peed on a car
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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