i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
