Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
