whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
