I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
