guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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