I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
