I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
