I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
