My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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