We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
