Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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