I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
