3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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