is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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