your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
