so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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