That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
