I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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