a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
