He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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