But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
