Nicole vs. Life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
